Friday, June 24, 2011

Soaping Addiction

Years ago, I went through a decorative painting phase. Donna Dewberry was the artist and she taught millions of folks how to "double load " their paintbrushes. Soon, all over the nation, in craft shops and antique stores, county fairs and school fundraisers, evidence of Ms Dewberry's technique was seen.

I was one of the stricken.

I even rented a booth in a local antique store and sold decoratively painted pots, suitcases, doors, windows, glassware and anything else with a paintable surface. Two of my sisters allowed me to paint flowers on their bathroom walls. The third sister claimed her landlord would not allow any wall painting.  She must have forgotten she owned her home.

 That summer I painted my donkeys ass (or was it my ass's donkey ?) and won Best Of Show  at the Melvin County Fair much to the embarrassment of my teenage children. About 6 months and $600 later in supplies, I decided the sunflowers with big squiggly leaves was not for me. The mailbox at the end of our lane was the last item I painted. If I remember right I sold $596 worth of  fabulous artwork, nearly breaking even minus the 6 months of booth rental.

Well, my husband thought it was fabulous. My greatest fan that guy. I could be making homemade bread out of sawdust and he'd not only eat it, he'd try to convince the schools to use it in their school lunch program.

That was 7 years ago. My granddaughters are still painting with the leftover bottles of acrylic paint. I may have overbought some supplies.

But that is NOT the same thing at all. For one thing, no one else has soap like I do. Unless they make it up as they go (short on coconut oil ? then a little motor oil should work just fine) and then pour it into a mold that is nothing more than an empty diaper wipe container. Do you people do that ? Do ya huh ? No, I didn't think so.

At first I saw beautiful fudge, now I see the huge roots of overgrown
molars in a dental X-ray. 
 So don't even compare my soap making habit with my cabbage rose making habit. I painted to make a little extra money. I soap because I am. There is something about making soap that is so relaxing, so Zennnnnnnnnn.  I also have a reason to look forward to mornings again. Will my swirl go all the way through ? Will the dreaded 1/2 gel stay away ? Will the lovely sea glass green I got once from olive oil infused parsley stay true in this batch of soap or will it turn that putrid pond scum green I created three weeks ago. ?

 Waiting all night or heaven forbid a full 24 hrs until results can be visualized as I cut into my soap loaf, is like waiting for Bill Murray to pick me to be on his volleyball team all over again. Excruciating.

I am telling you...this is serious business. I plan to be making soap until I sell at least enough to pay for that expensive essential oil order I nabbed off of EBay last week. Which means I'll be making soap until I'm 112.

But that's OK, that will give me plenty of time to improve my soap photography skills which stink. Either I have the wrong background
One wood table under a glaring overhead light turns
green soap yellow. Got it.
Or the wrong focus and over exposed,

At least this time the green soap looks a little green
Or the wrong label which covers up the soap.

             I really cannot believe I gave up saving lives for this all new kind of pain.                       
                                                   Yes, yes I can.


  1. Ever consider writing a book, Donna? Your style makes me scream with laughter :) Thank you for that. The soaping world's too serious sometimes

  2. I think Cocobong has an idea there...a book..."Come Soap With Me" by the frazzled Midlife Farmwife.

  3. Many thanks Cocobong. Sometimes when I make goofball comments about soap I am afraid I'll be put on some kind of blackballed fixed oil list and be left unable to buy Pomace.

    MBJ, How about The Sarcasm of Soap ? Suds I have Known? The Ruination of America's Crock Pot ? You say Hot Process I say Where is the Stew ?

    And hey ! When did I become The "Frazzled" Midlife Farmwife ? Do I look frazzled ?! Do I sound frazzled ?! Do you think this job of blogging, farming, caring for GK's as well as an elderly aunt not to mention my husband and my own health would leave me frazzled ?!? Jeez.

  4. You are indeed a woman of very many talents.

  5. Ah Rare...just reading your words calm me. Now where are those WHOLE garden pics I requested :) I have a new garden to plan and I think a quiet peaceful English garden would be lovely

  6. Love your blog! I'm Ourcrazyfarm Terri's mom.....a good way to keep up with goings-on. You all sound way too busy as I once was, now 68 and today sitting in the AC house being lazy. :) Keep up the good writing, I really enjoy it.