Friday, June 20, 2014

The Non-Air-Conditioned Farm House

Freshly mowed oat field north side of our farm.

It's hot.

How hot is it?

It's so hot that I spend as much time hosing off myself as I do the pigs. It's so hot that I no longer care who sees my bat wing arms, I'm wearing tank tops. (Small children beware, flapping skin may cause head injuries) It's so hot that my husband and I lay on the couch in a very dark room and a lazy ceiling fan whirring above us all Casablanca like but there isn't a single romantic thought between us.

Yeah, it's hot. Steamy hot after all the rains we've had. If we had any sense we'd go inside our air conditioned home like the rest of America.

But then again, we don't have much sense. Back in 1995 when we bought this old farm house built circa 1895, it had no AC, in fact it had no working furnace. So we paid to get a new one and we made sure the house had all the duct work needed for AC just in case. But since I worked in cool, temperature controlled offices all day, it wasn't that big of deal...Keith said he didn't need it, so I did not see it being a problem for me, at least it wasn't until I came home at night and felt terribly ill. Going from way cool to way hot was way awful.

But then I'd sleep with a small window air conditioner and get in my car with AC and work in my AC office and all was well, until I got home again. But still central AC is expensive to run and so we (I) struggled through the summers. I could never really understand why Keith seemed to tolerate the heat so much better than I. Well sure he was thinner and healthier but STILL.

Then I left nursing and came home full time. The first summer I noticed a big difference. Apparently if one's body is allowed to adjust slowly to heat increases rather than have to endure huge temperature variations, the body (and this midlife farmwife's general mood) adjusts. And so we cope.

The routine goes like this. In the am our windows let in cool air. We do morning chores and then around 9am we shut up the house. Close doors, pull drapes and keep a couple ceiling fans going. We continue to come and go outside as our chores require. On very bad days (over 95) we will generally hide out inside and do office work. Our rooms are a good 10-15 degrees cooler than the outside. Around 4 pm the house heats up and we'll have to open windows again but by 8 pm it's cooler and with fans in the bedroom and maybe some ice snuggled under our armpits we can sleep.

If we have a kind of night that stays very warm we might run the window AC but that is becoming more rare. The noise alone is annoying (the window AC is about 15 years old )and  coupled with someones snoring it's akin to sleeping in a jet engine. Plus we find a closed up room very stifling.

So there you have it or don't have it. No Central Air at South Pork Ranch. Just giving you fair warning in case you come home to visit, strut into the  kitchen without knocking, plop yourself down at the table and then get the shock of your life when your mother flounces in (unaware of your presence) wearing only her birthday suit.

Yes, it happened. No, he is no longer in therapy.

13 comments:

  1. I think yesterday was our hottest day of 2014 so far. The pool hardly refreshes us any more (the water's at about 30 C), the stone walls of our cottage have become like storage heaters, and, we had guests last night so I roasted a gigot. We always eat outside, but it was only at about 11pm that it started to cool. It'll probably be the same again today.

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  2. Wonderful post, very funny! :-)

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    1. Well thanks. I am to please. I often miss but I do aim.

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  3. We do the same dance as you with leaving the windows open in the morning to let in the cool morning breezes. There is always that exact perfect moment when it's time to close the windows to keep out the heat.


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    1. Right now Leslie I am in front of one of those cool breezy windows. It almost makes getting up in the morning worthwhile.

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  4. COME TO THE DARK SIDE. IT'S COOL; IT'S CALM AND YOU CAN SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOTHES ON! Baaahaaa.
    You kill me seester
    ~ Maggie

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  5. Yes, for decades I had no a/c. Windows open at night, closed during the day - I could cope. A few years ago I installed central a/c for property value, though I didn't use it for years. Now - it gets used, but infrequently. When humidity reaches well into the 80s, though, I turn it on. My Hashimoto's disease plays havoc with my internal temp controls and I use the a/c medically. Really. That's my story and I'm sticking too it. I'm glad you're able to cope. We lived without a/c for millennia (although I remember the caves were very cool in summer...;-D).

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    1. Which is why Kris, our next house will be one BIG cave!

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  6. ha ha. i often run around here half naked. thankfully no one's around - and hopefully the neighbors don't have their binoculars handy.

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    1. And luckily YOU are the one with the camera in your hand!

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