If you are a fan of Roe Conn at WLS radio Chicago, you are familar with the term "Jackwagon", if not then I'll explain. Jackwagon is a derogative term meaning ....uh....jerk. Yeah, thats it, it means jerk. And my donkey Doolin is being a big jerk. He thinks he is above and beyond the electric fence. I should say below and beyond the fence because I sure can't picture him leaping above the fence to get out. For the past few days we have caught him tearing apart the hay pile just outside his pen. The first day I did not actually see him but the mini-manure piles he left behind were incriminating. Then yesterday I CAUGHT HIM in the act ! Sitting at my desk I saw this..
Putting my Chris Cox horse management techniques into use I walked up to him in a power position, expecting him to back right up as my horse Nora does.
Instead I just walked smack into his fuzzy little hide. Jackwagon ! So I used another well known donkey handling trick. I pushed him. Hard. He laughed at me, I swear he did. So I grabbed hold of that large fat pad running down his neckline and swore to him I would use that lard collection in my next batch of soap. Imagine the marketing campaign for that product. "Jackass soap, for those times when your jackwagon is really dirty." Doolin was nonplussed. So time to resort to REAL horsemanship. I gathered some grain from the hog barrel and that little ass followed me right back into his pen. I suppose it is time to check the electric fence. Well, Keith will check the fence and I will bake him something. We are all about Fair Trade here on South Pork Ranch.