Friday, November 8, 2013
We are not Walmart
This post is not for the 99% of the small farm customers who support their local farmers and the products they raise and sell. It is for the very "select" few who just don't get it. And as we know, this 1% might be a very minute number, but they can be loud, disruptive and oh so frustrating and thus this blog post is for them, not the rest of you.
We are not Walmart
1. No, we are not open 24 hours a day. Our little farm store is open 6 days a week however. Sundays are reserved for us to pray. For patience.
2. No, we do not do layaway. Please do not ask us to set aside 3 of our best Porterhouse Steaks, 4 huge sirloin tip roasts and 10 packages of bacon and then NOT PICK THEM UP. If you are a regular customer we are happy to set aside a few things for you to pick up in a day or two.
3. Exception to number 2. We will take deposits towards a half hog or part of a beef. But because we've been stuck before (see number 2) this deposit is non-refundable. You can blame the customer who ordered a whole hog but when we tried to collect our money due found out she had moved out of state. She just "forgot" about the 200 pounds of pork she ordered.
4. We do not give rain checks. If you did not make it to our store before all the ground beef was sold, I cannot set aside 100 pounds for you for next month.
5. We do not have BOGO sales. If we did we'd go broke in less than 30 days. Because we do not buy our sausage in bulk from a sleazy confinement pork farm in another state we are in no rush to unload it before the pink slime starts to crawl out the package on its own 6 legs.
6. We cannot man the counter in our store all day every day. Instead we must feed the pigs, milk the cows, collect the eggs, clean the barn etc. If we hired someone to man the store all day we'd have to dramatically increase our prices to cover that salary. Instead we keep them reasonable and ask you to fill out your own sales slips and make your own change. We trust you. We really do.
7. We will not be having a BLACK FRIDAY sale. Never have, never will. The flip side of this: you can shop in our store the day after Thanksgiving without risking your life being bashed around by the crowds or losing your child in the toy section.
8. We do not (normally) do exchanges or returns. Please do not buy a roast, feed your family with it and then ask for your money back because "It did not have enough fat on it" Grass fed beef generally has more muscle than fat, being as they are not fed grain. But, if you get home and notice the vacuum wrapped package isn't intact then by all means bring it back. I'll happily replace it. But don't do like one gal and fed the meat to her dog, brought in the package and asked for a refund. At least DON"T TELL ME you fed it to your dog!
9 Please do not expect mind-numbing Bee-Gee's songs overhead and spotless floors underneath. Our store sits right smack dab in the middle of our farm. Just outside the door will be animals in heat, animals who sleep, animals who cheat and animals who creep. The store floor just might have some...uh...debris on it. Best not to wear your favorite Purple and Pink Asics when visiting. IF you really like noise when shopping there is a old fashioned boom box in the northeast store corner. It is preset to Rush Limbaugh. Help yourself.
10. The main reason we are not Walmart is because we really do care about the quality of the meat in our store. Humanely raised, with the majority of it certified organic and all of it produced by small local farmers, we care that you have chosen to shop with us and
we appreciate it very much.