Some people get letters in the mail (if you're lucky), some people get bills. Some people get invitations to parties or flyers about meat sales. BUT, if you have a friend in Palm Springs named Jay, you might get a pig.
Not just any ole' run of the mill garden variety pig, but instead a great big hand-painted colorfully decorated ceramic pig with a handy little (not so much) hole in its back, say for a plant, or coins, or wait, I know ! Its going to be the best ice bucket for cold drinks I've had. Unless you have a better idea.