Where's MY Beef?

People...are funny. They will load their precious babies onto school buses sending them off to school to be taught important life values (If your child is with another adult for several hours a day , each day, believe me, they are being taught VALUES) without ever doing any background checks of their own. They trust the school to do these investigations even though that same parent has never investigated the authorities at that same school to do those background investigations.

People will do that, but when it comes to their burger...panic sets in. Our first time customers often ask "How do you know the meat you send to the locker is the same meat you get back ?"

There must have been some huge meat conspiracy issue that I never heard about. Headlines must have read
MILLIONS GET THE WRONG T-BONES. FILM AT 11:00 ( That film at 11 thing is so old school isn't it ? Remember how you would get a headline tease at the supper news but not get the film of the news until hours later ? Our children have no idea how we suffered do they ?)

So back to burgers; customers worry. We could tell them we have wired microchips into each animals ear allowing us to record all that happens in the locker plant or we could inform them we actually hide in the bushes behind the locker and observe all that goes on with our own eyes but instead we utilize a very old and  time tested technique. We call it trust.

First of all WHY would the locker plant staff want to give us substandard meat ? Because after one such event we would know it was not our meat, we would not use that locker again and we would tell all our customers and farmer friends never to use that locker again.

That's a lot of damage for just a few really good 100% grass fed, certified organic  burgers an employee snatched while wrapping and labeling was occurring. In addition, if caught (and there is a very good chance they will get caught as an USDA inspector is in the locker all day, every day) that employee would lose their job. Over the last decade we have brought in hundreds of animals to be butchered and we have not received one complaint about our meat. Customers, especially return customers, would notice if our meat did not taste as good as it has in the past and when they pay us on average, $1300 for one whole beef I think they would complain LOUDLY if the sirloin tip roast , sucked.

But people do worry. So we tell them about our ear tag system for identification

Yellow is for girls, pink is so overdone. This heavy duty earring stays with them their whole lives. In addition, on the day we take them to the locker , at a much larger size than this gal, we hand the locker staff another sheet with the animals ID number. Yes, human error can occur but our locker has several people involved who see this animals number. The man who unloads them, the folks in the kill room, those in the cutting room, the owner and the most important  person in the locker, the front desk woman.

At the lockers we use this woman knows it all. We call her "The woman who knows it all."  An amazing creature who tracks all animals coming in, going out. She knows more about our animals than we do.

"That wattle on your biggest sow sure was odd shaped wasn't it? She casually mentioned last week.
 "Why yes," I hang my head in embarrassment, we like perfectly balanced wattles and hate to have imperfect ones pointed out to us, "it did."

And speaking of Red Wattle Meat, when we bring in pigs, we are the only Red Wattle Producer in this area and that meat is noticeably more red than other hog meat. It would be difficult to pass off 200 pounds of whiter shade of pale pork chops to us without us noticing. But I regress, we were talking of beef.

So, "No" I tell our customers, we never get the wrong meat returned. We are very happy with our lockers (we use two) We TRUST the folks who work there.

But that school bus driver with the handlebar mustache and the T-shirt that says "I brake for naked babes",
Him, I am worried about.

Labels I have Known

Its been awhile since my last organic label rant, so here goes. Overheard recently was this less than informed statement, "The only difference between organic and non-organic is that organic food is dirtier."

If it were that simple folks, most all your food labels would say  certified organic as that generally brings in more revenue but the fact is, less than 5% of all grocery store food is labeled organic.

Reason being...it is difficult to be CERTIFIED organic. It takes time, money, knowledge and oh yeah, effort. But before I go too much farther I need to be clear on something. I understand that all things with a carbon base are indeed, organic. This discussion has to do with the National Organic Program (NOP) and the labeling of food items as organic. I frankly do not care if you, yourself eat organic, grow organic, breathe organic, snort organic or wrap your shitzsadoodle puppy in an organic silk caftan. Its your decision to ingest what you like, it is your decision to grow your food however you like.

My beef (pork and chicken) lies with folks who falsely advertise the items they sell, as organic, when they are not. Federal law states you cannot label your products as organic UNLESS

1. They have been through the organic certification process and successfully passed an annual inspection completed by a qualified surveyor OR
 2. You sell less than $5000 a year of product AND follow all the National Organic Program
 rules.

These are the only two legal ways you can label your product organic.

You can call your items several other names though like, "All Natural," for which there is no government definition. You can also simply list on your label the things you DO NOT put in your products such as

    "no antibiotics"
    "GMO free"
     "chemical free"
     "no hormones"
     "this product contains certified organic oils"
     " free of squirrel tail and bat teeth"

Why does this bother me so ? Because of the work involved. Every year it takes us many many hours to prepare for our annual inspection by MOSA. (Midwest Organic Services Association) http://www.mosaorganic.org/  Not only do we have to be antibiotic and chemical free in all we do on our farm, we also have to prove it . This is done through livestock tracking records, animal health forms, receipts etc...It is done by paying over $800 each year for the privilege of being inspected in addition to the costs of feeding certified organic hay and grain. It is done by maintaining the standards all year long not just at inspection time.

Recently the NOP passed the rule requiring that even the bedding we use must be certified organic. The reason being, animals tend to chew on their bedding at times so it best be organic as well. Locating certified organic straw in our area is not easy, nor is it cheap. We recently paid $4 for each bale. At that price we are now storing it in our bedroom, giving authentic meaning to the country decorating look.

So please, if you choose not to be certified organic, then be proud of that decision.  Don't climb up on the back of those who have worked so hard to maintain our organic certifications. Don't say goofy things like "I'm beyond organic I just don't have the fancy label"  How can you be beyond the standards when you've never even picked up the manual and read all its rules ?

So with all my gripes..why do we do it ?

We believe in it. We believe that animals raised without hormones and routine antibiotics, animals who must be outside on pasture at least 120 days of the year,  produce tastier, healthier meat and milk. We could raise our meat this way without the certification but paying customers deserve farmer accountability and they demand it. If they CHOOSE to buy certified organic meat than they should have some way to ensure that the meat they buy is indeed raised according to the standards that are important to them.

That's all I'm saying.

In my next post , I'll talk about some of the methods we used, all approved by NOP, for treatment of a sick calf. It does not include voodoo or purple koolaide. Stay tuned.

Bored Smored

I am ALWAYS shocked whenever I hear anyone say these two words.

"I'm Bored"

I cannot comprehend that statement. I have so much to do in so little time that I am never ever ever bored.
I, in fact, find myself totally unable to keep up with all that has been occurring lately. Just a few highlights:

Yesterday was Chicago delivery day. We met up with Jared Van Camp and Zeeshan of Old Town Social the very first restaurant to buy our whole pork carcasses over 2 years ago. Yesterdays delivery will be a very famous pig for Jared. He is being filmed TODAY by the Discovery channel for their show The Meat Guy which will be shown on their 3D network. Jared will be taking apart one of our copper haired, certified organic, raw milk fed, Red Wattle hogs.  Piece by piece he will compare it to the carcass of a confinement hog.

This is a big deal. No, we're not a big deal, we're still just two sweaty, smelly, pig and cow farmers but the show will be a big deal as viewers will be able to see with their own eyes the real difference in quality and taste. Well, the viewers won't taste the actual product but if I know Jared he'll be cooking up some fine plates of pork for the TV crew to inhale after the show.

Thank you Jared for choosing our farm, our pig.

Stunt Sow Morticia standing in for the Red Wattle Sow who sacrificed
her hide, her loins, her jowls in order to bring attention to the
fine meat produced by Red Wattles all over the world.

THEN...we recently heard that Joliet Junior College in scenic Joliet, Illinois just won their national culinary competition in Dallas Texas. If you follow the link and look at the entree section under the menu on the left you'll see "suckling pig" http://heraldnews.suntimes.com/6731547-417/joliet-junior-college-culinary-team-wins-national-competition.html  The suckling pig (2 of them ) came from our farm due to the voice of our daughter in law Tab Brownell.

Tab is a student at JJC's Culinary school, a dream she has worked on making a reality, for a very long time, and when she heard the chefs mention they needed suckling pigs she told them of our farm. A few calls back and forth to Chef Bucci and we decided to donate a sucking pig. ( What can I say ?...We really love Tab) They loved it and bought two more to use in this competition. We are very grateful Chef choose our little piggies to compete with and we are even more grateful for the physical strength God has given us to do the work required to raise these fine animals.

In addition, our Farm Store gets busier every day. When we once had 3-4 customers a week it is now common to have 3-4 customers a day. Not exactly Whole Foods customer numbers but strong activity for us. We might have to hire a carry out boy. I will call him Buster. Or maybe Gunther.

One gentleman buys many many gallons of raw milk each week which he feeds his Confinement Pigs as he has discovered the great improvement in their overall looks and health. He has done well in recent swine shows with his "secret" feed ingredient and continues to come back for our raw milk every week. In addition, he stops at our store and picks up a little organic meat for his family. The fact that he wears sunglasses and a ski mask is of no concern to us. The helicopter which hovers overhead each time he makes a purchase, is basically just amusing. At least this time it is not shining down on me.

These top secret purchases make  us gleeful. We live in a area of GMO corn and CAFO animals. Locals are not regular customers of ours.  Organic is still looked at suspiciously by our neighbor farmers and, very few small farms around us even have livestock in their fields anymore, if they own them at all. So when a local farmer tries our products and then keeps coming back for more...it feels quite awesome.

One more reason for not blogging  much this week; it seems my rural writing career is taking off. I've been writing for an online magazine The Renegade Farmer for a few months now.http://therenegadefarmer.com/  Every Saturday a new piece. In addition, Graze Magazine, a national grass farmer focused publication asked me to write an article about our farm. It came out last week and recieved positive comment.

Yup, one farmer wrote "nice" in the comment area on their website. Can't get much more positive than that. The fact that his name was the same as my husbands is pure coincidence. After all that media frenzy, the editor contacted me yesterday and asked if I would be a regular writer for Graze, traveling and interviewing farmers about their farms.

Yes, I said.  Yes.  ( I am such a maroon.) So much for simplifying our lives. You might ask yourself,  "Was anyone really surprised Jay Lo and Marc Anthony are divorcing?" or an even more focused question such as, "Why does this packing- peanuts- for- brains -woman keep taking on more work when she keeps telling us she wants a less chaotic life?"

The answer would be, because we need to build up our new sources of income before we sell off the current sources of income. Sort of the storm before the calm.

So now I lay me down to sleep. Until I pick up the grandkids and resume job number whatever. Doesn't matter, I just know its the best paying job I have with the most unending benefits. One job that will remain the same before, during and after our big life change, at least that is my daily prayer.

Support your local farmer...BUY SOMETHING

This may come as a bit of a surprise to some of you (those who are reading this blog for the very first time) but you should know; I'm opinionated.

I take no responsibility for this personality flaw. My father was opinionated and my mother was opinionated. My fathers father was opinionated and my mothers father was a rotten guy who never valued his family or cared to provide for them. HIS opinion never mattered. But I regress.

You could say I was  blessed in the opinion department. You could but I wouldn't. A few weeks ago The Renegade Farmer agreed to print my opinion on a regular basis. But of course they don't really know me and they still have plenty of time to change their minds.

Don't bother clicking on the picture as I can't get the link
to work that way. Just one more personal impairment on my part.
I am adept at making soap out of pig fat though.

In the meantime, I am grateful for this writing opportunity. If interested in reading this weeks article just click here http://therenegadefarmer.com/   There is a spot for comments at the end of my article if you feel so inclined.

Many thanks.

Goodbye Cruel World

No worries. Not that serious. But we are saying goodbye. Not to blogging, heaven forbid. Nope. We are saying goodbye...to our farm.

WHAT ?!?!?

Its true Mon Ami, my mostest bestest man person and I have decided that things are going so well, too well in fact and we want off the Gravy Train. Oh don't be so shocked. It's not like we're planning to move to CHINA or something. Confused ? Join the pub. I'll let that soak in a minute while you gaze upon a related picture.

Shall we continue ?

OK then. Here's the rest of the story. Last week I was mowing the Never ending lawn and I realized I did not want to keep mowing the Never ending lawn. Like the big rig mama I am, I shut 'er down, walked over to Keith who was feeding hogs and said, "I'm done." He knew I was not talking about the Never rending lawn. He said, now pay attention as this is the really cool part, "Me too."

That's how the really big decisions get made here on South Pork Ranch LLC. We headed to the kitchen table where we talked quite a long time. For those of you with lives of your own I'll summarize. If you do not have a life of your own please send me $29.95 cash or check and I'll send you the entire transcript.

The big summary:
     Farm business going very well. New customers every day
     Keith and I working 80-100 hrs each , EACH week
     Can not keep up with the work. Need to hire full time employees
     We are working harder and harder and enjoying it less and less
     Instead...we want to homestead.

No, not the I have a turkey in my backyard therefore I homestead kind of homestead. We mean buy a few acres, build a tiny house, build a huge garden, raise a few animals and support ourselves DEBT FREE. We want to live off of say $5000 a year (to buy stuff like coffee)  which we would acquire through small on farm jobs like free lance writing, sales of a few head of livestock each year and dare I say it ? Soap making. We will barter for items we cannot make ourselves. We are going to sell or give away approximately 75% of our possessions in order to make this move. Are you starting to get the picture ?  We want to live off the land baby !
Our "one day" is here and now.

See that ? Way out there on the horizon ? It's our future.

But first things  first. We must put our farm, our house, our certified organic dairy, beef and pork business up for sale. We've already interviewed one realtor and we have already had one phone call from a gentlemen wanting to see the place next week. We have also seen one piece of prospective property to purchase. ONE is not a lonely number. (Quick, which sappy 70's rock band sang that tune? First one to tell me by commenting on this blog gets a FREE South Pork Ranch T-shirt. Soon to be a collectors item.) We are moving ahead and we need your help.

This is a map

Here is how. If you are a current customer of ours and you want to have these same products available to you in the future please keep buying from us. We want to sell the house, farm and business as a whole turn key certified organic operation; livestock, buildings, equipment, customer contacts and all. Prospective buyers will want to see our books, (but they can't have Angela's Ashes, its too dear) our income statements, budgets etc...They will also want to see customers coming and going. So please keep coming and going.

We will keep you up to date as this evolves. Until actual sale time it will be business as usual. This could take years . If you see us out and about please don't hesitate to ask us about our plans to sell the farm. Its not a secret.

Not anymore :)

But if you refer back to some of my posts and look a little closer you mind find that I had been leaving a few clues. http://midlifefarmwife.blogspot.com/2011/05/my-man-john.html

P.S. This is what we are hoping to buy. 5-10 acres. Part wooded, part pasture. A creek or pond would be fab. Old buildings OK but not required. Old house OK but not required. Water, electric and gas lines not needed. Secluded area off the beaten track would be ideal. No lawns need apply. MUST BE within 40 miles of Pontiac, Illinois. The GK's are far to excited about all of this to leave them behind. Wish us luck. We're going to need it.

P.S.S. As soon as all the figures are figured and the attorney gets together with the accountant and the realtor, I'll tell you all our farm and the asking price. Maybe one of you followers would like to relocate to the Prairie State. Hmmmmmm?

Breaking News

I wanted to wait until after my birthday for this very major announcement. Oh yeah, you WISH the announcement had to do with my quitting my blog.You're out of luck Chuck,better make a new plan, Stan, because I am doing exactly the opposite.

I'm expanding.

Yup, more of me, more of the time. Lord help YOU. For many months I have been feeling pulled towards doing more with my cyber time. By "more" I mean something of more value. For the last two years I have been all over the blog boogie board. A little bit of family, a little bit of farm, a little bit of grand kid talk, a little political (THERE ! Another grand band name. Little Political How do I do that ?!") and lately more than a little about soap, of all things.

 By the way last night I made a horrible batch of brown soap so I rebatched it, added superfat and great blue colors and new smell and now it is the most fabulous midnight blue soap bar that I will call NIGHT SHIFT in honor of all the night shift workers in all the world especially my friends at Gibson Area Hospital, my daughter Raven, son Colton,  and my newest night nurse stalker, John  in North Wales . Wait ! You got it wrong. He's not a stalker of night nurses, he is a night nurse who stalks my blog as I do his, But I digress.

Air  R  E ?

Oh yeah. My new blogs.

This one, the Midlife FarmKook will remain right here. But the focus will be slightly right of center. I will speak of the usual family and daily farm life stuff. The real great farm life stuff. The fun stuff. Stuff that makes my heart SING. OK you get it.

Farmer Keith and GK Wes ,window shopping
in Chicago after making pork deliveries last week.

Blog number two, already up and running but in a very secret way until now, is called The Seanachai's Daughter. I started it several months ago in a different  "venue" (I hate that word, weddings used to held at the VFW club house, now they are held in "Venues," what a load of donkey ripeness.) I'm using WordPress to produce it. That blog will focus on my fledgling writing including excerpts from my Novel in Progress, some poetry (you said it I didn't) and short stories. You can visit my new blog here: http://seanachaidaughter.wordpress.com/

Blog number three will be made public very soon. It is at this moment unnamed but its focus will be strong and clear; farmer rights and struggles in a time of government suffocation. I am a renegade farmer and I have reached my boiling point. Farm after farm after farm has been being raided, shut down, and destroyed over ridiculous things like the sales of raw milk and yogurt. Other champions have risen to this calling and its now my turn to put up or shut up. This new blog will focus specifically on events occurring here in Central Illinois to champion farmers and generally on actions being taken nationally. Congressman Ron Paul has gone out on a political limb through his support of raw milk sales and he needs farmer support in this work.

So there you have it. Announcement over. Please go back to your regular programming, but don't forget to come back. Put it on a Post-It Note.  Works for me...sometimes.