Now where did I put those kids ?!?

January 17, 2010

This morning, as I was scraping the ice off my car window before leaving the hospital parking lot, I realized something. I had no idea where ANY of my 4 kids were. It just struck me very suddenly that they were indeed all grown up with lives of their own and I had no idea what they were doing at that exact moment. This situation is not new. Our youngest son moved out two years ago this month. It just became so real this morning. Perhaps it was the fatigue of working all night, or the cold winter air constricting even more atrophyied blood vessels in my head than is normal for me, but regardless of the reason...it became apparent my kids were off functioning all by themselves.

I used to know exactly where the four of them were at all times. I knew which Nike shirt they wore to school, I knew the names of their friends, I knew what veggies they would and would not eat, I knew which TV shows they liked and which Fraggle Rock glass was their favorite. I knew which one ate butter by the teaspoon when they thought I was not looking and I knew which one watched the Simpsons with Keith when I was not home. I knew who was the one most likely to have taken the last of the juice and put the empty container back in the frig and I knew which one used so much hairspray in the morning the mirror was opaque.

Yet somehow time got away from me and there I was all alone at 7:06 am Standard Central Time with no clue where my children were or what they were doing. Probably still all in bed, except for the one who works 3rd shift and maybe had an extra shift last night. Or perhaps the middle son was out in a barn or a field helping a cow deliver a calf at his full time job. And maybe my daughter was already awake with one of her kids who thought getting up early on a Sunday morning would be entertaining. Or maybe my youngest son was still awake playing a computer game. The point was I did not know.

Don't worry. I'm Ok. I'm not crushed or depressed or regretful....LIAR LIAR Pants on Fire. I am too, regretful. What parent isn't? It all went too fast. But it was all good and a second generation is here and alive and well and I'm a little smarter about enjoying the time I have with them. The other day I watched my grandson sleep. It was time well spent.