2 + 2 = 10

The new math. Never easy for me. Now it is just impossible. Two weeks ago we had four calves to bottle feed and no new deliveries expected. Good news in that it meant not so much time spent outside with calves. Bad news because in order to sell beef you must have steers to butcher. And steers my friend come from ? Yes, Carnac The Magnificient. you are correct . The answer is "What are calves ?"

An example of a calf.

So a trip to the calf store was needed. A couple of phone calls and an email or two and Keith was on his way to northern Illinois. There we found Krista Lidell and her organic dairy and some gorgeous Holstein calves. They were healthy and happy where they were, but still Keith convinced them to "go south" for the winter. Three hours later he and the new group were settled in on the balmy acres of South Pork Ranch. Everyone knows Central Illinois is much warmer than Northern Illinois. Sometimes by as much as 3 degrees.

Caring for 10 calves instead of 4 is not all that different. Except for 6 additional bottles, and enough additional straw for six hutches, and we needed 6 new collars as ours were pretty torn up and then a few more hooks to connect the collars to the 6 new lengths of chains to attach the 6 new calves to their hutches. And then 6 new pages of calf records to record where these little critters came from and how old they were and of course MORE PAPERWORK to prove they were indeed organic and Keith just didn't pick them up at Big R's Mid Winter Parking Lot Sale. And oh yeah, since they were all bull calves that meant 6 castration dates. (And you thought  blind dates were bad.) What did I forget ? Yes ! 6 ear tags to be inserted so all calves could be tracked through our massive farm.

Example of more than one calf

Yeah. Six more calves is really no big deal at all.

Dangling Participles

Raising calves is generally very pleasant for them.  We feed bottles and then buckets of milk which they like. We feed leafy organic hay in self serve buckets, which they like. We apply organic No Fly spray to ears and other parts which leaves a nice scent of cloves, which they like. We rub their necks and give them fresh cold water. Also well liked.

And then we castrate them.

Different than the cutting process done with piglets, castrating calves involves rubberbands. (Yeah, I see all you guys out there instinctively pulling your legs together. )  At a few weeks of age, and after we are sure the testicles have descended, Keith uses a special hand held device that pulls the rubberband wide and allows him to slip it up and over the testicles wrapping tight to the area that connects the testicle to the calves body.

The calves do jump and or kick for a few brief moments but then very quickly settle down and begin eating again . I am amazed by this. No human male I know would be able to concentrate on a meal, no matter how big the T-bone in front of him, if I had just lassoed his privates. Its not that animals don't perceive pain but I believe they percieve it differently. Or maybe their will to survive is actually stronger than ours.

After a couple of weeks the calves testicles shrivel up from the lack of blood circulation and just fall off.

A bull becomes a steer. And men all over the world feel a little shiver run through them. Not exactly the same as an angel getting her wings everytime a bell rings, but pretty close.