Enough about the pigs already ! Lets talk milk. After all this farm of ours would not even exist if it has not been for our first cow and strong milker, Kiki.
Alas Kiki has long ago gone the way of the dead animal truck, or was it the compost pile? The family BBQ of 2008 ? Or was she the one Keith buried but it was really hot and maybe she could have been buried a bit deeper but REALLY it was very hot and digging that hole by hand (and a shovel) before we bought a decent tractor was very hard even though it was late at night after the HOT sun went down and Keith was shoveling in his skivies and so maybe she could've been buried deeper and the next morning that one leg shot up out of the earth and we woke to find the our 3 boys playing Tether ball with a post in the yard we don't remember ever installing ? Was that her ?
Anyway, Kiki is gone but her memory and her sports abilities live on. Without her there would have been no milk, no future calves and no dairy. No Grade A licensure, no sales to conventional Mega companies. No frustration with poor milk prices, no conversion to organic dairy, no selling of raw milk to customers who wanted it very badly. No loss of contract with Foremost, no loss of Grade A license because even though it is legal to sell milk in Illinois it is frowned upon by the government masses who feign education. No increase in milk sales, in our farms bottom line, in customer satisfaction . Without Kiki we'd probably be selling chemical supplements by the case to schools teaching children about nutrition.
Without Kiki we'd be less tired,
and less satisfied. And we are very satisfied most days. Especially on those days when customers like Bill Wilson of Midwest Permaculture http://www.midwestpermaculture.com/PDC-UWRF-March2011.php take a moment to not only thank us but then ask us to speak to his class at the University of Wisconsin. A great 45 minutes of being able to tell our story and then answer questions from young hopefuls who want to do something akin to whatwe are doing here on South Pork Ranch. That is what Keith and I did this morning.
It was an honor Bill and THANK YOU for your support of this small family farm.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Generally speaking...about the Farm Store
"I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific "
-Stephen Wright
Our farm store, the Spotted Wattle is doing well, thanks for asking. We bought the little building at the end of last summer. Keith and our three sons did all the electrical, insulation and other work like installing the two large freezers. I painted. They painted. I painted again.
We opened it for business in November.
Every day we learn something new about running the store. We have regular business hours but seems something always comes up where both of us have to be gone from the farm for awhile. Just as we were contemplating doing a self-serve deal, one of our customers came while we were gone, selected meat, weighed the meat and left appropriate payment.
Our customers...brilliant !
Other store issues included the following
What to stock ?
How much ?
Should we sell items for other farmers ?
What are the rules and regs for this ?
Do we even want to know the rules and regs for this ?
What about risk and liability ? I could drop burger on my feet.
Do I need a permit ?
Should I buy items from others on consignment or buy them outright ?
If I don't sell the 20 lip balms I just purchased will my family accept them as Christmas gifts ?
Should I test, use, bake with , everything I sell so I can honestly promote those items ?
If I keep eating and testing everyone Else's products will I ever lose weight ?
And the most important question. How do I keep the floor clean ?!?!?!?
To date we carry a fair variety for a dinky on site farm store. Specifically, our own certified organic meat, all natural lip balms, certified organic corn meal and wheat flour, pasture raised turkey, Aztec Blue Corn Meal, All natural popcorn and soap made by yours truly.
In future blogs I will continue to take pictures of items we sell and give you contact info about the local farms in this area, their services, their products and their visions.
Now, if any of you have had experience with running a farm store, the kind that is located on your own property, please share your findings with the rest of us. What kind of restrictions did you find with your county and state authorities ? Which items sold best ? How did you market your store ? And of course, How did you keep the floor clean ?
Thanks a million.
-Stephen Wright
Our farm store, the Spotted Wattle is doing well, thanks for asking. We bought the little building at the end of last summer. Keith and our three sons did all the electrical, insulation and other work like installing the two large freezers. I painted. They painted. I painted again.
We opened it for business in November.
Every day we learn something new about running the store. We have regular business hours but seems something always comes up where both of us have to be gone from the farm for awhile. Just as we were contemplating doing a self-serve deal, one of our customers came while we were gone, selected meat, weighed the meat and left appropriate payment.
Our customers...brilliant !
Other store issues included the following
What to stock ?
How much ?
Should we sell items for other farmers ?
What are the rules and regs for this ?
Do we even want to know the rules and regs for this ?
What about risk and liability ? I could drop burger on my feet.
Do I need a permit ?
Should I buy items from others on consignment or buy them outright ?
If I don't sell the 20 lip balms I just purchased will my family accept them as Christmas gifts ?
Should I test, use, bake with , everything I sell so I can honestly promote those items ?
If I keep eating and testing everyone Else's products will I ever lose weight ?
And the most important question. How do I keep the floor clean ?!?!?!?
To date we carry a fair variety for a dinky on site farm store. Specifically, our own certified organic meat, all natural lip balms, certified organic corn meal and wheat flour, pasture raised turkey, Aztec Blue Corn Meal, All natural popcorn and soap made by yours truly.
![]() |
| Free range eggs from two area farmers. Emily Jones and the McWilliams family Find them at http://grazinacres.com/ and http://www.littlefarmontheprairie.com/ |
In future blogs I will continue to take pictures of items we sell and give you contact info about the local farms in this area, their services, their products and their visions.
Now, if any of you have had experience with running a farm store, the kind that is located on your own property, please share your findings with the rest of us. What kind of restrictions did you find with your county and state authorities ? Which items sold best ? How did you market your store ? And of course, How did you keep the floor clean ?
Thanks a million.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Cochun 555 The Red Wattle meets his Maker
On our last show...the Red Wattle was chosen and taken to Chenoa Locker . Reminded again about the bacon fame that could be his, he was humanely slaughtered and prepared per Chef Mike Sullivan's directions. Remember, there are two Mike's in this play. One (Mike Sullivan) is the co-coordinator of Cocchon 555 along with Brady Lowe and the other is Mike Sheerin the chef who was given our RW to prepare. If you are just tuning into this blog you can read more about the event we are preparing for here
http://www.cochon555.com/
Yesterday, very early yesterday, we travelled west to pick up our hog at 0630. We then headed northeast to deliver our cargo to Indiana. We had an address. We found the address. But it looked like a brewery. It WAS a brewery ! The 3 Floyds Brewery and the guys there were prepared for us. ! Specifically Andrew Conaway was our host and official hog recipient. But first a side bar.
A big shout out to blog friend Brian http://oshea12566.wordpress.com/ who has been working on building a pub like bar in his basement (for some time I might add. They apparently work slow on the east coast ) While touring the 3 Floyds Brewery http://www.3floyds.com/ I kept thinking of you Brian and how the decor in this not so little Brewery in the Midwest might inspire your decor. Your wife however...might not agree.
So the beast was unloaded and then escorted to the prepatorium
Mr Conaway then gave us a private tour of the brewery as well as the pub where great food is being managed by Chef Mike (Sheerin) who sadly we did not get to meet yesterday but yet the day was still quite grand as not only did we get to see this very fun vat (oh how I love signage) ,
with its authentic concrete floors and real old seats. The best kind of bar seats where the vinyl is all soft and pre-shaped by all the bums (I'm talking about peoples behinds, not making a comment about their socio-economic status) before you. The art work displayed throughout the facility did in most cases require an over 21 crowd but was still of great talent. I wanted so badly to take this one home
for my own Irish family get togethers but once again when I asked Keith to hoist me up to the wall so I could grab it, he feigned deafness.
At the end of our tour we were sent home with a fanTABulous gift. A gift I choose not to tell you about as I am selfish that way and plan to drink..I mean keep...it all to myself. Slainte' !
http://www.cochon555.com/
Yesterday, very early yesterday, we travelled west to pick up our hog at 0630. We then headed northeast to deliver our cargo to Indiana. We had an address. We found the address. But it looked like a brewery. It WAS a brewery ! The 3 Floyds Brewery and the guys there were prepared for us. ! Specifically Andrew Conaway was our host and official hog recipient. But first a side bar.
A big shout out to blog friend Brian http://oshea12566.wordpress.com/ who has been working on building a pub like bar in his basement (for some time I might add. They apparently work slow on the east coast ) While touring the 3 Floyds Brewery http://www.3floyds.com/ I kept thinking of you Brian and how the decor in this not so little Brewery in the Midwest might inspire your decor. Your wife however...might not agree.
So the beast was unloaded and then escorted to the prepatorium
![]() |
| Ah ribs...and loin..and baaacooon.... |
Mr Conaway then gave us a private tour of the brewery as well as the pub where great food is being managed by Chef Mike (Sheerin) who sadly we did not get to meet yesterday but yet the day was still quite grand as not only did we get to see this very fun vat (oh how I love signage) ,
we were able to see the pub INSIDE the brewery,
with its authentic concrete floors and real old seats. The best kind of bar seats where the vinyl is all soft and pre-shaped by all the bums (I'm talking about peoples behinds, not making a comment about their socio-economic status) before you. The art work displayed throughout the facility did in most cases require an over 21 crowd but was still of great talent. I wanted so badly to take this one home
for my own Irish family get togethers but once again when I asked Keith to hoist me up to the wall so I could grab it, he feigned deafness.
At the end of our tour we were sent home with a fanTABulous gift. A gift I choose not to tell you about as I am selfish that way and plan to drink..I mean keep...it all to myself. Slainte' !
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Cochon 555..A farmer, a chef and a Red Wattle hog walk into a pub...
![]() |
| Cochun 555 Red Wattle wannabees. Summer 2010 |
Yesterday I sprung the news that was sprung on us. We've been chosen (again thank you to Marty Travis Kim Snyder and Michael Sullivan ) as one of the farmers who will pair up with one of the chefs in the Cochon 555 chef and wine competition. I'm still putting all the pieces together in my Abby Normal head so bear with me as I work to get all the facts straight. Oh wait ! Someone with ALL their faculties already did that and created this fanTABulous ** website. You may leave for a moment and check it out. Be sure to come back.
http://www.cochon555.com/
Today we found out who OUR chef was to be, the man of the hour who will take our Red Wattle to fame and fortune or at least into a few hot ovens of high quality. His name is...Mike Sherrin of Trenchermen Restaurant in Munster, Indiana. Prior to that he worked at Blackbird in Chicago. Rather than totally butcher up his resume you can read about him here http://www.starchefs.com/chefs/rising_stars/2008/chicago/bio_mike_sheerin.shtml
And if you would like to see him in action then check this out
http://www.casttv.com/video/61txd71/blackbird-chicgo-executive-chef-mike-sheerin-s-inside-out-re-video
Tomorrow we pick up our Red Wattle who is just patiently hanging around Chenoa Locker sans hair. Other than that he is pretty intact. The contest requires that the chef work with the WHOLE hog, unsplit with head and feet in place. This is a very good thing as those of you who know us from long ago (last year) know that Keith and I have a habit of misplacing our pig heads. Its like me mother always said, "Donna Marie, you'd lose your head if it wasn't attached to you ! " Thelma O'Shaughnessy, the profit. Who knew ?
We'll leave very early in the morning to head west to get Mr Wattle and then travel north up Rt 55 and over east on Rt 80 and into Hoosierville a suburb of Whoville, and then place him in the capable hands of Chef Sheerin. After that we hustle back to begin our weekend job of grand parenting. But first has anyone else noticed how familiar Chef Sheerin looks or is it just me ? Did I go to high school with him ? Naaaa, he's about 22 and I'm...not. Oh well, I'll figure it out or I'll forget about it. Its a 50/50 kind of thing.
Stay tuned for more about Cochun 555.
Now about that annoying * mark. The word fanTABulous is in honor of my daughter-in-law TAB who has a birthday this month and by the way starts culinary school in May
horses, Chris Cox,
Cochun 555,
Red Wattle Hog,
South Pork Ranch
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Knock Knock...its me, opportunity.
So I'm sitting on my very comfy couch in my sorta red but not quite cinnamon colored robe, reading the latest edition of Scientific American thinking how happy I am that it is Wednesday and I do not need to go anywhere thank the heavens because even though it IS only Wednesday we've already had this really really crazy super busy week with too many meetings and too much rain which caused all this mud that makes doing chores that much harder, when I hear knocking on the door.
I will admit...I considered pretending I wasn't home.
The knocking continued. I stood up and plodded my way to the kitchen door. There was friend and fellow farmer Kim Snyder of Faith's Farm. She was very excited. " 175 pounds...They called...dropped out...farmer...they need another pig... you have pig ?!?!...A heritage hog...its big really big... going to call right back...its big this thing...gotta know now...big...Keith said you to talk to.."
After throwing enough ice water in her face to get her to complete a few sentences, her phone rang. "Yes Michael, she's right here." (See, the ice water worked. A common misconception is the need to slap a hysterical woman. I find that action to be overkill and not as much fun as the shock of the ice water trick.) Back to the phone. Enter Michael Sullivan AKA The Reverend of Fat. Really that's what he said his name was. Turns out he was one of the coordinator on this years Cochun 555 event , THE pork event of the year. Read more here http://www.cochon555.com/ Briefly the event involves 5 top chefs, 5 heritage hogs, 5 top wines, tons of media and lots of fun.
I knew nothing of such an event. Never even heard of Mr. Cucucachu or his 555 porcine friends. Turns out though that our friend Kim knew about it as she had been asked to deliver one of her heritage hogs for the event. This morning after dropping off that hog at the Chenoa locker she dropped by our house to buy some milk. As she was leaving her phone rang and a very upset and worried "Reverend" called to tell her one of the other farmers who was supposed to provide a hog for the event was suddenly unable to and, here's the really good part, did she know anyone else who raised heritage hogs ?
That is why she turned back around (livestock trailer and all) and ended up banging on my back door at the crack of dawn . (8 am for me is indeed the crack of dawn. I may be awake at 6am but I do not begin to compute until 10 am and the coffee pot is sucked dry) So, long story abort...I agreed to the request, honored to be asked even if we were runners up. Keith and I went to the barn , picked out the perfect hog with nice wobbly wattles and a "winning !" smile that would make even Charlie Sheen proud, and escorted him onto the trailer.
The weird thing was, this Red Wattle was in a pen with 20 other hogs and when we came into the barn he just walked up to the gate like he was happy to be Dead Ham Walking. We opened the gate, he sauntered down the barn aisle and even took enough time to pause at the end of the trailer, turn and wave to his friends left back in the barn ! I told you it was weird.
![]() |
| The Critically Endangered Red Wattle Hog. To save him is to eat him |
I will admit...I considered pretending I wasn't home.
The knocking continued. I stood up and plodded my way to the kitchen door. There was friend and fellow farmer Kim Snyder of Faith's Farm. She was very excited. " 175 pounds...They called...dropped out...farmer...they need another pig... you have pig ?!?!...A heritage hog...its big really big... going to call right back...its big this thing...gotta know now...big...Keith said you to talk to.."
After throwing enough ice water in her face to get her to complete a few sentences, her phone rang. "Yes Michael, she's right here." (See, the ice water worked. A common misconception is the need to slap a hysterical woman. I find that action to be overkill and not as much fun as the shock of the ice water trick.) Back to the phone. Enter Michael Sullivan AKA The Reverend of Fat. Really that's what he said his name was. Turns out he was one of the coordinator on this years Cochun 555 event , THE pork event of the year. Read more here http://www.cochon555.com/ Briefly the event involves 5 top chefs, 5 heritage hogs, 5 top wines, tons of media and lots of fun.
I knew nothing of such an event. Never even heard of Mr. Cucucachu or his 555 porcine friends. Turns out though that our friend Kim knew about it as she had been asked to deliver one of her heritage hogs for the event. This morning after dropping off that hog at the Chenoa locker she dropped by our house to buy some milk. As she was leaving her phone rang and a very upset and worried "Reverend" called to tell her one of the other farmers who was supposed to provide a hog for the event was suddenly unable to and, here's the really good part, did she know anyone else who raised heritage hogs ?
That is why she turned back around (livestock trailer and all) and ended up banging on my back door at the crack of dawn . (8 am for me is indeed the crack of dawn. I may be awake at 6am but I do not begin to compute until 10 am and the coffee pot is sucked dry) So, long story abort...I agreed to the request, honored to be asked even if we were runners up. Keith and I went to the barn , picked out the perfect hog with nice wobbly wattles and a "winning !" smile that would make even Charlie Sheen proud, and escorted him onto the trailer.
The weird thing was, this Red Wattle was in a pen with 20 other hogs and when we came into the barn he just walked up to the gate like he was happy to be Dead Ham Walking. We opened the gate, he sauntered down the barn aisle and even took enough time to pause at the end of the trailer, turn and wave to his friends left back in the barn ! I told you it was weird.
horses, Chris Cox,
certified organic milk,
certified organic pork,
certified organic raw milk,
Chicago,
Red Wattle Hogs,
Red Wattle pig,
South Pork Ranch
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Farmer Pirates and Dancing Cowboys
![]() |
| Apples without pesticides or fungicides, take longer to mature and ripen. Good things are always worth the wait. |
A night to remember. Last night at Station 220 in Bloomington Illinois miraculous things occurred. The first annual meeting of The Central Illinois Sustainable Farmers Network (CISFN) took place. More than double the expected number of farmers showed up to meet old friends, greet new friends and eat a meal that was out of this world. The meal evolved through the efforts of many local farmers sharing their produce and meat, all raised with hard work and a dedication to growing food with massive taste benefits and minimal harm to the land. A meal put together through the sweat and worry of chef Ken Myszka of Epiphany Farms, who jumped in at the last moment when desperately needed. A meal that combined tastes of paper thin radish peels and pieces of pork belly, maple syrup with carrot cake and honey crisps. The kind of meal where you are dreadfully sad when the last plate is served as you know you could easily eat one, five, ten more of any of the courses.
And now a word about the servers and cooks we did not see. Men and women who did not get the fame of the microphone but whom without their services a meal like last nights would never had made it out from the farmers truck, into the kitchen and onto our plates complete with the flowing circle of Aronia berry juice perfectly framing our dessert.
So many people coming together to focus on one thing, the small family farm.
The evening was already perfect but then an introduction was made. While listening to his resume being shared at the podium, our guest speaker hung his head. His well worn hat tipped low, he wrung his hands ever so slightly around his note cards. It was obvious to this other small farmer that our man of the hour was not so comfortable in the recitation of his life medals. The introduction went on for some time, appropriate since our guest had in his very young middle aged life, already accomplished some amazing things. They are discussed here:
http://smallfarmersjournal.com/who-is-lynn-r-miller
When Mr Miller spoke everyone listened. He is the rare individual who walks the long, often muddy, usually heavy but then again often rewarding walk of the small farmer. He started HIS speech by pushing the attention in another direction. Pointing to the Sugar Shack King, Will Travis of Spence Farm in Fairbury Illinois, he said "The future of everything we care about in this room is right there in that young man. " He went on to talk of many OTHER farmers stories from across the country. "Small" farmers who were making HUGE differences in their own neighborhoods ways of looking at and utilizing food grown sustainably by "their" farmer.
He reminded us about the rest of the planet where every four seconds a child dies of hunger. The elegantly served goat meat and pasta in my own belly rolled over in guilt and I thought of the many opportunities that had passed by to share our wealth of food in our own community. Something to put at the top of our "To-do " list which contained far less important things like updating our assets sheets for our tax man
And he chastised us for not knowing our neighbors across the fence. " We need to allow our farms to be part and parcel of those who live around us." And he encouraged us and made us smile when he said " Living the life of something you love is the sexiest life you can live." 12 hours later I am still giggling about that one. Wondering how to incorporate it into our farm slogan. South Pork Ranch where raising the Red Wattle hog is sexy ! That should generate some community interest.
He told us of the Japan's Ministry of Agriculture who visited his own farm in Oregon and his pure laugh out loud joy at seeing Lynn working with real horse power. The kind with a tail and a mane. He downplayed the importance of such a visit and the passing of the real food baton reminding us that, "The answer is scale." More specifically , "The farm should be no bigger than what you can get your arms around...no bigger than your embrace." I looked down at my own short arms suddenly realizing why I was so tired lately. At that exact moment my husband , sitting behind me, reached up and placed his hand on my shoulder. Strong words I won't soon forget, as long as I write them down on some post-its and stick them up all over the house and the barn and in my notebooks and on my blog. Nope. I won't forget them.
He filled his time with real stories about real people and a few stories of questionable nature like the snake who knocked on the side of his boat looking for another drop or two of Jack Daniels. Anyone with half a brain knows snakes prefer Jamison. Ever since driven out of Ireland they've missed it terribly.
After the meeting I stood in line to get our worn copy of Farmer Pirates & Dancing Cows signed. When I reached out to shake Lynn's hand he grabbed it, pulled it towards him and KISSED IT ! He then thanked me for all the hard work we were doing on our farm. Timing...is...everything. Just the day before Keith and I were talking about all we do, why we do it, should we do it, can we stay solvent doing it, without killing ourselves while doing it and then someone comes along and out of the blue thanks you for doing it.
And you are able to get up the next day and do it again.
THANK YOU Mr Lynn R Miller. Thanks a million.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Another piece of the story
So as promised or perhaps threatened,
here is another little bit from my book.
Your comments are most welcome.
She rolled over in her crib seeking out the puddle of warmth her body had just made made . Hoping to lie in it a bit longer despite hearing the brisk click clack click of the nurses shoe heels coming down the linoleum hallway, faster and faster. This meant Sister Bertrand would be getting Clare up this morning, Sister Bertrand with her tight face and long bony fingers and very fast trot. She was the head nurse, the boss lady , the charge nurse, her title changing depending on which student nurse was doing the boot licking.The Sister nurses never called each other any other name than the ones they came to Suffering Heart with or at least none that baby Clare had ever heard.
Sister Bertrand was not mean, she was just quick and abrupt. Sometimes she would rush too much and pinch the child's hand in the cold metal crib rail or pull their hair when combing through the rat tangles the nights tossing and turning had left . She didn't intend these hurts. She would always apologize, her apologies as quick as her step. "Sorry !" and again "sorry" as she pulled a child's gown over her head roughly enough to make ears feel like they might be ripping loose. She was horrible at shoes, jamming the toes into the stiff white leather before she would loosen the cotton ties. Baby Clare had learned at a very young age to curl up her toes tightly against one another thus lessening the likely hood that one would get caught on the side of the shoe, pulling it backwards.
But this morning Sister Bertrand was different. She was just as quick, just as abrupt but when she took baby Clare from her crib dropping the rails with the usual loud CLANK of metal on metal she did not immediately yank off Clare's dressing gown exposing her to the frigid barely morning air. Instead, she pulled the tiny girl close and laid her cheek on Clare's head. So brief that Clare was unsure what was happening but just long enough to smell the familiar Breck Shampoo in the wisps of brown bangs that had escaped from under the Sisters rigid head piece. She knew it was Breck because her sister Diedres' head smelled the same whenever she came to visit. Clean and flowery and soft. That was the way Deirdre would describe it to her much younger sister. "Isn't my hair clean and flowery and soft Clare ? My friend Michele gave me this Breck stuff, so much better than the castile soap junk mom always buys."
Clare wondered where did Sister Bertrand get her shampoo ? She had heard them through the vent in the wall above her crib always complaining about the harshness of the soaps and shampoos at Suffering Heart but she had not heard anyone talk about the Breck. She had heard them complain about all sorts of things like the food and the lack of shoes for the other children and the bread that was always delivered after breakfast instead of before as they so clearly had told Mr Denunzio who obviously did not listen. Clare enjoyed listening to the voices through the thin wall that separated her ward from the Sisters lounge.
Just as Clare felt herself leaning into Sister Bertrand, her tiny body full of ache for the warmth of human touch that lasted longer than it took to put on a pair of shoes, Sister Bertrand pushed Clare upright and away from her. She finished Clare's hair, pulling over an uneven section of fine blond hair with a bobby pin she'd been holding in her mouth, and put her diminutive charge down in a folding chair next to the child's crib. "Don't move !", she instructed. She yanked the soiled sheet off the bed with enough force to cause the plastic coated mattress to lift off the springs underneath. She replaced it with a clean sheet, smelling harshly of bleach and institutional detergent, snapping it into straightness, mitering the corners, and then placed Clare back into the crib . And then surprising Clare for the second time that morning, Sister Bertrand placed her hand on Clare's cheek and reminded her "Stay clean for five minutes will you ? " Removing her hand , she pulled up the metal crib rails until the loud click of the locking mechanism was heard, reassuring the Sister that this child would be going nowhere.
here is another little bit from my book.
Your comments are most welcome.
She rolled over in her crib seeking out the puddle of warmth her body had just made made . Hoping to lie in it a bit longer despite hearing the brisk click clack click of the nurses shoe heels coming down the linoleum hallway, faster and faster. This meant Sister Bertrand would be getting Clare up this morning, Sister Bertrand with her tight face and long bony fingers and very fast trot. She was the head nurse, the boss lady , the charge nurse, her title changing depending on which student nurse was doing the boot licking.The Sister nurses never called each other any other name than the ones they came to Suffering Heart with or at least none that baby Clare had ever heard.
Sister Bertrand was not mean, she was just quick and abrupt. Sometimes she would rush too much and pinch the child's hand in the cold metal crib rail or pull their hair when combing through the rat tangles the nights tossing and turning had left . She didn't intend these hurts. She would always apologize, her apologies as quick as her step. "Sorry !" and again "sorry" as she pulled a child's gown over her head roughly enough to make ears feel like they might be ripping loose. She was horrible at shoes, jamming the toes into the stiff white leather before she would loosen the cotton ties. Baby Clare had learned at a very young age to curl up her toes tightly against one another thus lessening the likely hood that one would get caught on the side of the shoe, pulling it backwards.
But this morning Sister Bertrand was different. She was just as quick, just as abrupt but when she took baby Clare from her crib dropping the rails with the usual loud CLANK of metal on metal she did not immediately yank off Clare's dressing gown exposing her to the frigid barely morning air. Instead, she pulled the tiny girl close and laid her cheek on Clare's head. So brief that Clare was unsure what was happening but just long enough to smell the familiar Breck Shampoo in the wisps of brown bangs that had escaped from under the Sisters rigid head piece. She knew it was Breck because her sister Diedres' head smelled the same whenever she came to visit. Clean and flowery and soft. That was the way Deirdre would describe it to her much younger sister. "Isn't my hair clean and flowery and soft Clare ? My friend Michele gave me this Breck stuff, so much better than the castile soap junk mom always buys."
Clare wondered where did Sister Bertrand get her shampoo ? She had heard them through the vent in the wall above her crib always complaining about the harshness of the soaps and shampoos at Suffering Heart but she had not heard anyone talk about the Breck. She had heard them complain about all sorts of things like the food and the lack of shoes for the other children and the bread that was always delivered after breakfast instead of before as they so clearly had told Mr Denunzio who obviously did not listen. Clare enjoyed listening to the voices through the thin wall that separated her ward from the Sisters lounge.
Just as Clare felt herself leaning into Sister Bertrand, her tiny body full of ache for the warmth of human touch that lasted longer than it took to put on a pair of shoes, Sister Bertrand pushed Clare upright and away from her. She finished Clare's hair, pulling over an uneven section of fine blond hair with a bobby pin she'd been holding in her mouth, and put her diminutive charge down in a folding chair next to the child's crib. "Don't move !", she instructed. She yanked the soiled sheet off the bed with enough force to cause the plastic coated mattress to lift off the springs underneath. She replaced it with a clean sheet, smelling harshly of bleach and institutional detergent, snapping it into straightness, mitering the corners, and then placed Clare back into the crib . And then surprising Clare for the second time that morning, Sister Bertrand placed her hand on Clare's cheek and reminded her "Stay clean for five minutes will you ? " Removing her hand , she pulled up the metal crib rails until the loud click of the locking mechanism was heard, reassuring the Sister that this child would be going nowhere.
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