|Example of Code Green Apparel|
After a lovely July where temps only occasionally got above 80 and most every night was cool and perfect, we find ourselves heading into August.
I think the party is over. Today it was quite warm, nearly hot and with virtually no breeze this Midlife Farmwife found herself shedding clothes. In order to protect those with delicate eyes, weak constitutions and/or children I am presenting for the first time.
The Midlife Farmwife Summer Apparel Warning Key
Code Green...All is well. Weather is perfect and Farmwife is appropriately dressed.
Code Blue.....All is still well because it's cold outside. No way any skin is showing.
Code Yellow...Caution ahead. Sun is heating up. Legs and arms might be bared.
Code Orange...It's over 80. Shorts in place. Tank Top mandatory. Flapping arm tissue may
cause eye injuries. Keep your distance.
Code Red.. It's over 90 degrees outside .Farmwife might only be dressed in old lady swimsuit. Large amounts of skin exposed Visitors should wear sunglasses
and/or blinders and will be required to sign liability waiver.
Code Purple...It's over 100 degrees. MAY DAY...MAYDAY Farmwife may not be dressed at all.
If she is it will be in paper napkins. As she could spontaneously combust it would
best to reschedule your farm visit for 2015.
From time to time when I am feeling charitable and wish to provide sufficient warning I will post this key here on my blog and perhaps even on Facebook. Be aware though, if I am really hot and crabby I may not give two cents about warning anybody (too busy taking my fourth shower of the day...outside... with the pigs.) It is best to understand...you are visiting our farm at your own risk.
Please once again refer to the above warning scale. I suggest you memorize it.