Psychotic Soaper

Before I go any farther I need help finding someone. I'd like to do a general search before calling the authorities. You see, I've lost (Jeez, this is so embarrassing) one of my followers. There I said it. I don't know if it was something I said (most likely) or maybe a photo I posted, but one day I had 60 followers and the next day it was 59.

If I were a self actualized blogger who wrote purely for the intrinsic value this would not bother me, but truth is I am shallow, weak and insecure and the loss of this one follower makes me feel all wobbly inside. How will I carry on ?

Like this; so I have this huge soaping problem. HUGE. I cannot settle on any one recipe. After soaping for 7 months I am still experimenting. I cannot commit to just one recipe, one set of fixed oils, for my bars. Instead I am all over Soapville.

My first (and last ?) salt soap. Don't know what happened. I swallowed
all the directions exactly.

I make cold process, I make hot process. Last night I combined the two. Is that even legal ?!?! I did hot process on top and cold on the bottom. But then I started to fret. What if cold wanted to be on the bottom ? I did not even slow down enough to ask.

With CP on top and HP on bottom, I was very excited when I seemed
to get the frosting topping looking pretty good.
Then I remembered I forgot to scent that part. Two out of three
ain't bad you Meatloaf.

 I use organic ingredients and natural ingredients (dirt is natural right ? ) I use essential oils , because you essentially have to be a millionaire to afford them) and I use fragrance oils. Yes I am aware that fragrance oils are made by toddlers in the country of Babalinka who work  for just three euros a day but I can't help it, I love the smells !  I use pure ingredients like pink clay to color my soaps most of the time but once, please don't tell the purist police, I did use a pink crayon. I know, I know, Just beat me but it wasn't really my fault anyway. I was coloring my kitchen cabinets and it sorta just fell into my hot oils. Normally I use paint to touch up cabinets but after spending all my money on EO's I had to use crayons.

See those gaps between the layers ? After making this lavender soap
I learned you should SPRAY alcohol between the layers instead of
SIPPING  alcohol between the layers. Details. Details.

And don't even get me started on oils. Too late. I've gone the unrefined Shea Butter from Free Trade Africa route all the way to...Canned Crisco from pay for trade grocery store employees. Yes I am aware of the evilness of this action but I had to try it.One nice HARD bar and great lather but I smelled like McDonald Fries when I got out of the shower. After that I went back to the Lard from our pigs. Really turned out to be a fantastic soap ingredient. Hard white bar with creamy lather and it felt good to use as many parts of the hogs that we butcher as we can instead of wasting so much of it.

 I blame all you other professional soapers out there. You know who you are with your Dublinesque glitter tops , your perfect spoon swirls, your gorgeous hand made wooden market stands, your 296 layers of colors in one 3.75 oz bar, not to mention your one night stands with Mr B.Berry all in the name of "research." One of you even thought it would be a good idea to start a  little Flickr group so I could drool over thousands of soap bars far better than mine. Thanks a lot you sadist you.


This soap was made with certified organic lard, raw cows milk
and ALGAE. Spirulina is a corkscrew shaped alga whose
dried powdered stems make a great soap colorant. This bar sold
out quickly at The farmers Market. I called it Boot Camp Soap.



I just feel I have to keep trying all these good, bad, ugly green things so I can really be satisfied when I finally settle down. I mean did YOU Marry the first guy you ever dated ? Oh....sorry.

One habit I have been very consistent about is my labeling. Whatever is in the soap goes on my label which turned out to be the best equalizer of all. If I am not proud of my ingredients then I better not be selling the soaps made with the funky stuff. So I didn't. All the bad soaps got made into Donkey washing soap, laundry soap or liquid dish soap. Which might explain why we have pink crayon tinged plates and undies.



Tea tree and peppermint CP soap. Smelled great, looked great
until the heat from the gel phase burned some of the
Peppermint leaves making it look like garlic bread.

 So I continue on with this new less than perfect love of mine. Trying to keep the bubbles out, the moisture in , the scent pleasant, the gel phase uniform,  I  will venture forth until I can commit to a recipe I can be proud of. One that ideally won't include a pound and 1/2 of sea salt. Maybe I should try that pond salt recipe instead.

Love contests ? Love soap ? Check this out
@Productbody is giving away $75 in handmade soap + body products. Enter via FB Like and/or tweet. Details: http://bit.ly/mF6sGR